Heartache

If there is one thing that I have learned about myself these past two months...it is that when I love...I love deeply. The Lord seems to have created me with a heart that doesn't easily let go of things. You see, this fall, my heart was broken. It was broken by someone I held very dear and for the first time, I truly experienced heartache. It is something that I am still contending with. Figuring out that it's ok to cry myself to sleep at night. That it's ok to miss the happy moments and to look back on all the memories I had made with this person. That heartache was never intended to be in this world. It makes me yearn for the perfect world that the Lord originally had wanted for us. How do I deal with this? Well, I take it step by step. Every day is a new day...a new day to grieve my first love and best friend. My prayer is that I will one day be loved for me. And to be enough for that someone the Lord has for me. That is if God intends for me to be married or not. But even with all the pain and sorrow I have gone through, I have learned this...It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.

The Oregon Coast

I have been in Oregon for about 3 months now and it's gone by so fast!!! We have all our children (otherwise known as students) here and life is now crazy! :) There has recently been a sick epidemic going around, don't worry, it's not the swine flu...and so that has been keeping our deans busy. The second year program is up and running in it's first year. It's been an exciting process and I am looking forward to seeing how the Lord is going to continue blessing it. This is a new experience for us permanent staff and there are lots of little details that you wouldn't have otherwise thought of. For instance....how do you be in two places at once? How do you pass out tests for first year students at 9:30 Monday mornings and pass out tests for second year students at 9:30 on Monday mornings? haha All these things are being taken care of though and figured out. Life is good here on the Oregon coast and overall God has blessed me with this opportunity to serve on staff at Ecola. I love my boss, Dave, and enjoy serving him in anyway that I can. He is the sweetest man and has a wonderful heart for ministry. I have also enjoyed getting to know the assistant director, Dave's son Josh, and becoming apart of his family's life. Josh has a beautiful wife Joy and two adorable children! Although I haven't had the privilege of babysitting them yet, I am looking forward to that night. :)

My current obstacle in life is that I have no car. Now of course this isn't truly an obstacle, considering nothing is impossible with God, but I must admit it does have me frustrated.

I am hoping that it'll all work out in the Lord's timing though.

Well, that's all for now. I hope all is going well in blogging world!! :)

Not much to say...

Is it possible to get to the point where you have no emotion?

Something happens and I should have emotion about it....why is it then that I just feel nothing.

There are flashes of emotions... of anger, betrayal and hurt that come and go...but mostly, there's not much going on. I am confused and don't understand why things have to be like this...but I am not angry at my Heavenly Father. If anyone would listen and understand, it would be Him and I am confident in that. I don't have much to say. I want to tell those close to me how much I love them, but I don't want to speak. I don't want to communicate about my life.

This can't be good, I know...but I feel powerless to change it.

Tears come and go, apparently just like the heart comes and goes for some...

Hear my prayer of God...give me the innocence of a baby and the trust of a child.

Wow, long time..no write!

Ok, so I have not been on here for forever and I feel so bad. Not that anyone actually reads my tiny little blog, BUT it does make me sad that I have neglected it for so long. SO I will try my best to keep it updated throughout the year and see what happens...=)

But for now, I will give the highlights of my summer....Which of course includes weddings. Oh yes...this was the summer for weddings!! :)

First of all, my dear friend Mayerly got married.

Although not a "classy" picture, this describes us four and I

LOVE IT!!!

I was able to nanny my dear kids again.

Marlea(10), Payton(7) and Denali(4)

are growing up way to fast, but I loved

spending a second summer with them!!!

And finally, my dearest friend Emily was married on August 1.

Her and Mitchel's wedding was beautiful and she made for a

stunning bride, like I knew she would! :)

That's all for now folks...I hope you enjoyed this glimpse into my summer of 2009. Next posting.....what's going on in my life these days! :)

My Intern Family

I have been blessed by my intern family this year and am sad to see us all go our separate ways.

I am excited to see where the Lord is going to take them though and look forward to our 10 year reunion....well alittle more than 10 years....cause we are planing on the year 2020! :)

But in all seriousness, this has been a great year. Filled with learning experiences and something I will not soon forget. Thankyou to all who have taught me the love of Christ through your love for me and for those around you. I know God is going to do great and amazing things through you.

Spring Break Part 2

So the second part of my spring break (sorry it took so long to post) 

was spent in Idaho at my good friend Meagan's house.

It was so good and I loved meeting her family and spending some time at their house

in the mountains in the middle of NO WHERE!!! It was so relaxing and just what I needed.

Nothing much else to say except that I am very thankful for my friends and all the good times

we had!!!!

Christina and Heidi ready to rock and roll
Meagan and I...haha yesss road trips with no makeup on!!!

look who came! :)
p.s. got to see my good friend Alan!! :D

Heidi and I in an amazing lodge restaurant... 
ok, I don't know about you..but this is an AMAZING sledding hill!!
My beautiful friend Meagan!!!
All of us....
haha the bathroom was HUGE!

I love you Heidi!
ohh my goodness...sweetest baby boy!!!

He is kind of like Meagan's nephew and I loved being able to

get my baby fill in.
Artsy picture of Meagan on the way up to the Lloyd cabin
smiling cause we haven't got a care in the world...
silly friends...
Kind of a fun picture by the Salmon River
haha YES one of my favorite parts...

4 wheeling was SO MUCH FUN!!!

God's Grace...

The grace of the Lord has been on my mind alot as of late. It started me thinking when the students had a class on the book of Galatians. The teacher, Brian Reese, has a great testimony of the Lord working in his life and it comes through in the way he teaches. I remembered him from last year, but there is just something about actually caring (as bad as that sounds) about what the teachers are saying and applying it to your life. The second to last session that he had with the students, I sat in and oh my goodness...it was amazing!!! There is so much freedom in Christ that we, as Christians, don't take advantage of and it frustrates and saddens me. I think some of us go through life striving to be perfect and earn the right to enter into the presence of God and what we don't get is that we will NEVER BE PERFECT ENOUGH FOR HIM!!! It is by God's grace and only by His grace that we can have the assurance that we will never lose our salvation no matter how many sinful decisions we make. Granted, we will not live a life blessed by Him as much as it would be if we were to strive after Him and follow His commandments. One thing that Brian stressed was that it is because we love God that we try and follow His commandments and NOT that we obey His commandments and that in return makes us love God. I know that I flip flop that around sometimes and so it was a good reminder for me to hear. Overall, God is amazing and He astounds me each and every day with just how much He loves and forgives me for all the foolish decisions I make. What an amazing thing to know that there is NOTHING that will ever separate us from Christ's love...

Spring Break 2009 Part 1

This spring break was one of constant moving and alot of riding in cars.

For the first part of it, I was apart of a group that went down to

Baja Bible School in Tijuana, Mexico and worked there for about a week.

It was a wonderful experience for me, very different from the previous

two times that I had been down there. We built houses (or rather you would

call them shacks here in the U.S.) for families that were in need and it was an 

amazing and heartfelt project to work on. They were all very gracious and cooked

us lunch and tried to help in any way they could. I loved seeing the students interact

with the families and try to connect with them, even if they couldn't understand their 

language. 

*So if you ever need a house built, you know who to call.....* :)

Another work project that we helped out with was at a woman's shelter

called the Deborah House. It was a very hard and emotional place to be but

amazing at the same time. It is a safe shelter for woman who suffer from domestic

violence and they bring their children there with them. The director is a very welcoming

and wonderful with the kids and absolutely lavishes affection on those children who have

seen the hard parts of life at their young age. We did alot of numerous projects there, but 

one thing I really enjoyed was working with a power tool! :) Yessss thats right folks,

Diana is getting down and dirty with work...building houses and everything! haha

But yes, a very interesting and hard experience but worth every minute.

Another activity that we helped with was getting the school, Baja Bible, ready for students

to come this fall semester. They were blessed with a beautiful building or castillo (spanish 

for castle) that they are using as the main part of their campus. We helped out finishing up the dorms that will house the students. Mudding was the area I helped out in and needless to say, I don't believe that will be my calling in life! :)

The staff at Baja is wonderful and I really enjoyed getting to know them all. The founders

were previous students and staff of Ecola and therefore can relate with what kind of

an environment we live in and the constant teaching we receive!

Something that blessed me on this trip was watching the students get out of their

comfort zones and actually interact with the Mexican people. We went to church on Sunday

and they jumped right in by trying to sing in Spanish and play sports after the service with

the kids. They never missed a chance to hand out Bibles when we were out and about in Tijuana and were just overall, very bold with their faith. I was greatly encouraged and very proud! :)

One fun memory that I will take from this particular mission trip was getting told

by the mexican market sellers, that i needed to get something for my ex-boyfriend.

Apparently this is a compliment by saying that I was a heart breaker. It just amused me that someone would actually say that and it be the FIRST thing they say.

Another thing I really enjoyed this trip, was the FOOD. Oh man, no more Taco Bell

for me!! I had the best taco de asada on Sunday and just thinking about it

makes my mouth water! :) haha

Overall, God provided safety and blessed us all in many different ways. 

Praise the Lord!!!

Heidi and I having a blast with power tools!

Meagan and I 

Single's Awareness Day (a.k.a. Valentine's Day)

So because none of us have "special" people in our life, we decided to celebrate

this special day by dressing up and going out for some amazing deserts!

We originally decided to try and go to "Taste of Tuscany"...unfortunately they were

completely booked and we went walking in downtown Seaside looking for an alternative.

We ended up being able to walk into an awesome little restaurant called "Pugys" and had some

pretty yummy foods. *plus shirley temples, so honestly, who could as for more*? 

Afterwards we went to a local pizza parlor/arcade and had a TON of fun running in and out

of the photo booth! We certainly created a stir! :) Overall, it was so fun

and I am blessed to have such good friends!

Me and my delicious cheesecake

Richell and I

Meagan and Julie

Megs and me!

Office Girl Photo Shoot

Here are a couple of pictures from a photo shoot that we had

with all the ladies in the office.

Office Girls Of Ecola

I have been so blessed to be here at Ecola for one more year. These woman that you see 

in the picture above all work in the office with me and they make my day joyful!

BRITTANY is on the top and she is the "clown" of the office. 

If you ever need a good laugh, she is the one to look to or talk to...haha 

But she is also an amazing woman of God who I have loved getting to know. She was the

girl who was always outside doing something last year, so I didn't really get to know her all that well.

BUT she has a wonderful heart and a listening ear.

TINA is on the left of the second layer of the pyramid and she is simply amazing. 

She is the "mom" of the school and has so much amazing. We lovingly refer to her as "Mamma T" 

and she lives up to that name...haha I have been so blessed to have gotten to know Tina,

and I look forward to knowing her for a long while longer.

LISA is on the right side of the second layer of pyramid and she is the "aunt" of Ecola!!

Lisa has such a sweet heart and a loving spirit. I love not being afraid of her anymore...haha

RICHELL is in the middle of the bottom layer of the pyramid and she is my roommate 

and I would consider her one of closest friends here. 

I wasn't quite sure how it was going to work with us especially considering we weren't close AT ALL

last year...but the Lord is faithful and we are now really close. Richell has a laugh that is very contagious

and an awesome sense of humor!!!

KIM is the farthest right on the bottom and I love her!! She is an amazing cook and has such a

generous spirit!! Her heart shines through her actions and I have loved getting closer to her.

Well, these are my fellow office girls and I love them all!!!

Pictures

Here are a couple of random pictures from my break!

I also got to see my kids that I nannied this past summer! It was SO good seeing them. I have missed my munchkins. :)

My Christmas Break

So this Christmas break has been filled with lots of good memories and I have been so blessed to be here with my family and friends. I started off this break with news from my dad that my church was burnt by an arsonists and that was hard but the first Sunday we had after the incident was absolutely amazing! We were all piled into Wasilla Middle School (graciously provided by a member of our church family) and the atmosphere was spectacular...everyone was so joyful. Definitely a blessing from the Lord and proof that the church cannot be contained by a building.

So all in all, it has been a blessed experience for my church family.

The Lord has once again been providing for me in the area of finances. I was able to housesit for a couple who was going out of town for Christmas and that was great!!  Able to have my own house to where I could get away if I needed some quiet time!! :) *Very important for me..haha*

I had some awesome time with the weather here...I joke of course. It was definitely -5 when I first got here and it never changed. Let me tell you something if you don't live in alaska, we have a saying here..."If it snows...then it blows!" Which is very true....no joke, got stuck at my housesitting house because of the snow drift in the driveway!

Christmas morning was an early one...the little siblings couldn't wait to get down to that tree! :)

We had our traditional cheese grits, sausage egg casserole, and I made monkey bread. SO GOOD!  We spent the day being lazy around the house and it was great. For dinner we went over to my sister Kelly's and her husband Will's house. It was great and I love spending time with them. Another awesome thing that happened during my break was my best friend got engaged!!! Emily and Mitchel's tentative date for the wedding is July 25th and I have the honor and privilege of standing up by her side as her maid of honor. I am so happy for my best friend and wish her and her fiancee the best! We went wedding dress shopping and had immediate success. I am so excited to see her on their special day, she is going to be a stunning bride!

I go back to Oregon on the 10th and I am pretty ready to get back to Ecola...I am going to miss my family and friends though! Thankyou Jesus for an amazing time back at home. I am going to miss my mountains!