Something happens and I should have emotion about it....why is it then that I just feel nothing.
There are flashes of emotions... of anger, betrayal and hurt that come and go...but mostly, there's not much going on. I am confused and don't understand why things have to be like this...but I am not angry at my Heavenly Father. If anyone would listen and understand, it would be Him and I am confident in that. I don't have much to say. I want to tell those close to me how much I love them, but I don't want to speak. I don't want to communicate about my life.
This can't be good, I know...but I feel powerless to change it.
Tears come and go, apparently just like the heart comes and goes for some...
Hear my prayer of God...give me the innocence of a baby and the trust of a child.
2 comments:
Diana, I've gone through exactly what you're describing, I'm pretty sure. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this, reading about this, and asking others for advice. I wish I could just give you some absolute advice or formula to follow, but I know that your experience with this is going to be much different than mine, simply because you are a different person with a different relationship to God.
However, one of the things that I have learned through this, is that sometimes we tend to forget that we are composed of three parts - body, soul, and spirit. When we only listen to one of these, the other two are in despair.
When I went through this in the past, I found out from my pastor (who knows a lot about psychology) that sometimes depression (which is literally just a lack of emotion, if you look at what's going on in your brain) comes from sleep depravity, malnutrition, or even a lack of exercise (amongst other possible things). It's hard to imagine this, because we think that our spiritual problems (like feeling distant from God) come from our spiritual decisions, our bodily problems (like the ones I listed before) come from the body, and our mental problems (i.e. lack of social interactions, lack of emotion, excess of emotion, etc.) come from our mental decisions. But, sometimes they relate.
Long story short, I found out that once I started getting more sleep, I found that I was able to deal with my mental and spiritual problems better. I'm not saying that this is the exact case with you, but you might consider looking at each of the three parts of you and find out if there is something missing.
I hope this is somehow helpful. I'll be praying for you. Let me know what you discover through this, because I'm sure I still have lot to learn and could learn a lot from your experience
Oh Na Nee, I'm so sorry you are feeling down sister! Fill me in on how I can pray for you. Glad you are being honest and writing down your heart! I love you
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